Growing Up

Why the need to grow up? What's the rush?

I have friends who are married, engaged, or having/have babies. I'm 20 years old, for me, that still seems young. Young enough to be living my own life instead of caring for someone else's life. I'm not saying marriage at a young age is wrong, if you're in love and you want to spend forever with that person, then by all means, it's your life. But I think the biggest thing for me is the idea of having a baby so young.

After you get married, why do you feel like you have to start a family right away? Research even says that it's important for married couples to be married and by themselves for 2-3 years; it's the honeymoon period. It's the time when you really get to know someone because after that time is over, you have 20+ years you will dedicate to another human being and you and your partner are going to be so different in 20+ years whether you believe it or not; especially depending on how old you are when you start having kids.

And, why when you get pregnant do you feel like you have to rush into marriage right away? If you're pregnant, all that time and money you would be spending on a wedding should go to your child don't you think?

I like being a kid. I like being 20 years old and still considering myself a kid. I'm making mistakes and living my life. This is the only time you get to fuck up. You get married and you have kids and you are dedicated to another human being for forever. I'm not ready for that commitment because I'm focusing on the most important person I know, myself. I think everyone needs that time for themselves, to be alone. If you're 16-20 and you think that you've spent enough time alone, you haven't evaluated the length of a life.

Why do we as a society feel we have to push kids to grow up? Maturing and growing up are two different things here. I take 19 hours of class, I have a job and I'm involved in two campus groups, one being greek life. I'd say I'm mature, but no where close to being grown up or even wanting to grow up. For me, I'm not ready for marriage or kids. In fact, I don't even know if I want either of those things. When someone comes into my life and can change that idea for me, then I will know they are the one. But I don't think it will happen in college - AND THAT'S OKAY! College isn't the beginning or ending, it's just part of the journey.